


If I jump (Cake/Cashton)

by Piaxiiz



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, AU, Alternate Universe, BoyxBoy, Cake, Cashton, Cheating, Depressed Ashton, Depressed Luke, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fanfic, Fanfiction, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mashton, Pills, Sad AU, Sad Luke, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, depressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-02-26 20:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2665856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piaxiiz/pseuds/Piaxiiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum keeps getting Luke's mail but they both don't mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is mainly Cake with side Cashton there will be self-harm and what not, so if you could get triggered please don't read or skip those parts I love you <3 ^-^ this is my first fan-fic so please go easy on me :/

Opening the front door of your apartment, with a hand full of bags, is much more difficult than it seems, the bags broke and I had to stop everything and pick up all of my belongings. Picking up sprinkles, milk, butter, fruit-loops and a frozen pizza, I only had one more thing to pick up, the razors. I tried picking them up, struggling, I was about to give up when I heard someone chuckle softly, looking up from where I was squatting over the razor packet. To see a blonde headed boy, leaning down to pick up the packet for me, I stood up taking it from his hands, saying a quiet thank you. He just nodded his head, continuing to his apartment, which just so happens to be the one next to mine and Ashton’s. If I’m correct, he just moved in a couple weeks ago. Not that I paid attention to the gouges new neighbor we had or anything. 

Finally opening the door with all items still in my arms, I slam the door shut with my foot, yelling out that I’m home; I headed to the kitchen, starting to put the items away. 

Just as I finished, a sleepy Ashton came tugging out of his room, stretching as he yawned loudly, I couldn't help but notice the scratches on his back. 

An idea popped into my head, as I went over and gave him a big hug, “Good afternoon sleepy head” I chuckle into his hair, as he squirms out of my grip.  
He was hissing at the pain in his back, as he punched me in the shoulder, “Don’t do that, you know never to hug me when Mikey stay’s over” I just shrugged, grabbing the red bull from the fridge. 

“That’s what you get for keeping me up last night, I get shitty sleeps already, and I don’t need to be hearing, ‘Oh Ashton! Yeah right there—fill me up with cum you dirty boy’” Ashton blushed hard, putting his face in his hands. My face stayed blank as Michael walked in the room, eyeing Ashton before looking at me, giving me a questioning look. I just shrugged once again, grabbing my drink and leaving the room, I propped myself down on the couch in the lounge. 

It didn't take long for Michael to come in, getting my attention by clearing his throat, “Um…I’m sorry, about l-last night, I know you need your sleep - and I just, yeah” I just nodded my head at him, not saying anything as my eyes went back to the wall – we really need to get a TV- and went back to thinking about everything, but yet absolutely nothing. 

~ (flash back) ~ 4 years earlier.

Being surrounded by family and grate friends would make you think I had everything that I was never lonely, never sad, never wanting to cut. Well you’d be wrong to think that, I’m constantly lonely I could be in a room full of hundreds of people and still feel lonely. I didn't notice I was ‘lonely’ for a while; I was surrounded by family, very few friends. And just an all-around ‘happy’, but really the loneliness was always there, and it always will be. It’s like as I got older, I slowly started to notice it. I lost a family member, and didn't feel effected, sure I was a kid, but I still knew they were dead. I knew I was never going to see them again. But I was fine. I had that smile on, the one that’s not fake, but it’s not real, it’s just kind of there. I slowly lost more and more friends, due to me not being close to them anymore and not being able to deal with me letting go so easily.

I remember when I was hanging out with three of my closest friends, I said I felt depressed one of them just gave me a sympathetic look, where the other two looked at me like I was about to say something funny along with it. But when I didn't one of them spoke up. 

“Oink! Oink! Look at the attention pig” They all laugh along with him, changing the subject to some stupid game they wanted to play. I didn't pay much attention to it, we were all only young anyways, I’m sure if I saw half of the people I used to hay out with half of them would be broke and depressed anyways. I never had good choice in friends, well beside Ashton of course but I didn't meet him until I was already half way through high school already. Once I've already tried taking my life, began cutting, and everything else that I've fucked up my body with. 

Finishing the drink I had got my phone and head phones out, I blasted some simple plan standing up and going back in the kitchen I grabbed the packet of sprinkles a straw and the razors from under the sink. I made fake gagging noises when walking past Ashton’s room seeing him pinned up to the wall by Michael, I removed an ear bud, smirking at their red faces as they jumped apart. 

“What happened to keeping the door shut and putting a sock over the door knob?” Michael was putting his shirt back on and Austin just glared at me, “Cockblock” Austin mumbled shutting the door in my face. 

I just sighed, shaking my head I put my head phones back in and went into my room, locking the door and chucking the items on my bed. I striped to my boxers turning my lamp on and turning the light off, it wasn't dark outside yet but the sun is slowly starting to set so it’s dark enough in my room. I always keep the curtains closed, there a perfect view of our backyard along with our neighbors on each side of us. There only small, but at least we have one. 

Opening the packet of sprinkles I stuck the straw in, and putting the packet of razors in my bottom dresser draw, I turned the music off and got my laptop out. Putting on a one of my favorite movies on, the perks of being a wallflower, I love the line; ‘We accept the love we think we deserve’ which I think is true. 

I've seen my mother go through person after person, getting drunk at lot and crying herself to sleep she used to put up with half the stuff they put her through. Saying she deserves it and she deserves them, I would always just stay in my room trying to block out the sound of my sister fighting with mum. They loved each other so much yet they would argue almost every time they saw each other, especially when the other one was drunk or had a boy over. 

Pushing the thoughts of my family aside, I snuggled into my blanket eating the sprinkles and watching the movie. 

\----


	2. The weekly exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum has been getting Luke's mail every week, anything from one letter or his junk mail, Michael want's Ashton to move out with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try posting a chapter every day, but I wanted to say that my brake down's don't happen on a scheduled, so if I take long to update after updating every day for like two weeks then I'm sorry, I'm really am going to try.

Laughing along at the TV with Ashton (we finally brought one) I stretched my hands above my head yawning loudly, mumbling to Ashton that I was getting the mail he just nodded his head keeping his eyes on the screen. I've heard that a lot of people say stuff about people who are depressed like, ‘Fake smile, fake laugh, fake everything’ basically like that anyways, that’s bull. Ashton still laughs, I still smile, we both do those things daily and that’s why some people don’t understand when they find out were ‘broken’ why were so unwanted. People don’t think like we do, were in a world where we can be miss under stood and so unwanted by others it starts to hurt. 

Walking over to the huge mail box that has everyone’s mail in it, I searched for our unit number until finding it and pulling out the few things in there. Most of it was junk mail and bills, but among all the junk was a letter addressed to Luke hemming’s and I groaned when realizing it was our new neighbor. Mainly because I’m already walking up the steps to the apartment and can’t be fucked to put the letter in his mail box. So now I’m going to have to go to his place, it’s going to be so awkward… I’m going to be so awkward. 

My awkwardness mostly comes from my anxiety, I have ways of coping with anxiety when I’m around people I’m not comfortable with yet or don’t know well – or even in public, ugh the outside world. I’ll go on my phone even though I get blamed for being ‘addicted’ to it, I've had someone laugh at my way of coping when because of my anxiety. It’s not fun, but I've always tried to ignore people who don’t understand anxiety, mostly because they will think I’m just ‘shy’ when I’m not I’m actually a pretty out there person when I want to be. 

I stopped outside Luke’s door holding his letter in my hand and the rest of the mail in the other, taking a big breath I quickly knocked on his door. Praying he wasn't home and I could get Ashton to bring it over later, but when the door opened to a young looking girl I stood there awkwardly. She looked about 7, blond curly hair big blue eyes and big smile, she looked just like him. 

I coughed awkwardly clearing my throat, “Uh, is L-Luke there…” She frowned slightly looking at me up and down and calling Luke with a high pitch scream of his name. 

“Darcy! You don’t open the door to strangers, you know that” He scooped the little girl up, she was now clinging on to Luke for life looking down from where she sat on his arm as if she would fall, “But it’s Calum! I've seen him before, that means he’s not a stranger” Luke chuckled at her logic, averting his eyes to me he smiled sweetly, making me lose my concentration. 

“I uh, got your mail again” I mumbled praising the gods that I didn't stutter; he took the letter frowning it but then nodded thanking me. 

“It’s fine, but I do have to go now so uh – see you around” I waved awkwardly at him and he was about to say bye before Darcy leaned forward and poked my cheek smiling brightly when saying, “Your pretty for a boy” I smiled nervously probably looking like an idiot before mumbling, “Uh, thanks your pretty for a girl” I ignored Luke’s intense stare as I went back to my apartment, letting out a sigh of relief. 

Walking over to Ashton who was in the same spot he was in before I left, he didn't even look up and acknowledge me as I kicked my shoes off and leaned over the back of the couch and fell next to him but upside down. 

“We got Luke’s mail again” I mumble feeling like I’m talking to myself when he doesn't say anything, “Ash?!” I say more loudly than attended and he jumped when noticing me. 

“You scared me!” He hit me on the arm going upside down on the couch with me, “What were you saying oh lovely Calum that I didn't mean to ignore, but in my defense I was thinking about what Mikey told me earlier so…” He trailed off looking at me innocently and I just stared at him with a blank expression. 

“I was saying that we got Luke’s mail again” 

“Oh, did you give it to him?” He asked poking my cheek – I swear people are obsessed with my cheeks sometimes, they always call them squishy. 

“Yes and I saw Darcy again, I feel like she grown two inches since I've last seen her a week ago” I ramble and Ashton was suddenly interested in the conversation, listening to me intently. 

“Who’s Darcy’s again? I always get confused when it comes to our neighbors families” I snorted at him shaking my head, “Your always confused and she’s Luke’s niece I think, not to sure, I've only ever talked to the guy when I exchanging mail with him or awkwardly see him out on the street” 

“Oh… I forgot to tell you, Mike’s coming over again tonight” 

“You don’t sound too excited about that, hasn't this been like the third – wait fourth night he’s came over, I mean I don’t mind I’m just saying he’s been coming over a lot lately. I feel like he doesn't trust me to look after you or something” Ashton frowned looking up at the ceiling, I done the same staring at the white painted ceiling like I do most days. 

“He wants me to move out with him, but you know that already don’t you” He mutters out, referring to the other night when I heard them arguing.   
“I don’t want you to leave me Ash, I need you and I know you need me, Michael’s help but he doesn't fully understand you like I do, that’s why were best friend though” I gave him a little smile which he mimicked, grabbing a hold one of my hands. 

“I’m not going to leave, it’s too late to leave”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are these not long enough or? please leave kudos and comments! :)


	3. He's staying with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's being a overprotective shit, Ashton cries, Luke and Calum are finally going to hang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Busy, busy, busy :c

“I can’t leave Michael!” I lay awake in my bed, listening to the couple down the hall argue like most nights. 

“Why? What’s so important here that you can’t leave?” 

“Don’t even ask me that, you know why I can’t leave – you just don’t understand” 

“So you’re choosing him over me, really…” Michael sounded crushed, and in a way I didn't feel bad for him, I mean I do, but I don’t want Ashton to leave. 

“Can we just not, please for one night, let’s just not do this?” 

“Will you even be here another night for this to happen?” 

“Michael…” 

“I’m leaving, I can’t do this Ashton, and you need to make your mind up, me or him”   
Once hearing the door slammed shut, I shuffled out of the room slowly walking into the dark lounge room to see Ashton leaning on the back of the couch, crouched down and wrapped his arms around his body. 

“Ash?” I heard him sniffle and I knew he wasn't going to answer me, so I just sat beside him and wrapped an arm around the shaking boy. 

Ashton let out loud ugly sobs, clinging on to me, I can’t believe it’s come to this, it’s happened before, Ashton crying at midnight and I have to hold him till he stops because Michael isn't here to do that for him or he’s the reason it’s happening. 

Michael’s been constantly arguing with Ashton, telling him he wants to protect him and that he only wants to do this for his own safety, no one want a rerun of last time. It was horrible. Coming back from my school I found Ashton laying on the kitchen floor, bloody wrist and packet of empty pills in his hands. He tried over dosing with mail killers, he thought it would be the easy way out, this way it wouldn't be as pain full as life itself. 

But it was the opposite, he didn't take enough to kill himself (thank god) he just took enough to make his body slow down and passed out, I remember having to clean the blood stain on the kitchen bench and floor for ages. Ashton’s got better since then, he’s found a part-time job – something I need to do and he’s found himself Michael, and for now he was content with the world. But a couple weeks ago Michael came over uninvitingly at two am, why I was having a meltdown of my own happening; Ashton had taken a bath and cut deep near his veins. Resulting in his passing out in the bath at loss of blood and nearly drowned, Michael was saying how it’s my fault that he almost died – no he never said it to my face, he never does, he said it to Ashton while arguing about him moving out with Michael. 

Ashton’s crying had stopped, he just hanged on to me soon releasing his grip and going to the hall, I followed closely behind not saying a word. He grabbed the packet of smokes, along with the white lighter that was engraved with ‘cigarettes are food for broken souls’ and motioned for me to follow him out the back. 

We sat on the comfy outside chairs and he passed me one of my joint’s from the packet and took out a cigarette for himself, and that was it, sitting in the dark outside at one in the morning, while I got high to ease the pain. And Ashton breathed in the grey smoke to try and fill a whole that’s been left in his heart, he doesn't even need to say it; I know he’s going to stay here, he’s going to choose me over Michael simply because I wouldn't survive one night on my own. 

“Want some?” I quietly asked, he shook his head but smiled lightly at me anyways. 

“You know what happened last time I got done that shit, Michael would lose his shit if he knew I was even sitting next to that damn thing” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.   
“Yeah, we wouldn't want him hating me even more, would we?” I laugh sarcastically, taking in a deep breathe of the glorious smoke that was slowly turning my head numb. 

“He doesn't hate you, you guys just need to hang out a bit more – get to know each other, the only thing you know about me and Michael are stuff about our sex life. You know fully well how I work as well, and you know Michael is important to me, so we should invite him over next time he’s free and all have a movie night or something.” I was about to agree to his plan, until realizing I would just be an awkward third wheel to them. 

“I would – but I have no one to go with so-“ I was cut short by a far too familiar voice. 

“I could be your plus one?” Luke smirked from behind his fence, “Sorry, I wasn't ease dropping but when you come outside from some peace and quiet and hear your neighbors talk – well it starts to intrigue you,” He jumped over the fence that was separating us, taking a few steps forward. 

“That sounds like a perfect idea,” Ashton quickly spoke up, knowing I was about to decline his offer, he’s cute and all, but I don’t even know the guy. 

“Maybe you and me could hang out for a bit of Thursday, get to know each other a bit better before Friday – when I presume you guy’s would want to watch the movie marathon,” I only nodded my head not trusting my voice right now. 

“Grate! Here’s my number, call me when you can,” He passed over his phone that had his number up on the screen; I sent text to myself from his phone. I was going to fix the contact later, knowing I’m slowly turning into a bag of nothingness right now. 

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope fully I can update tomorrow, no promises, love ya lots x please remember to leave kudos and comments!


	4. Little date thingy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke & Cal hang out and get to know a little stuff about each other while Mashton goes off to Mikey's :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel like I haven't updated in forever, so here you go hehe! 
> 
> I'm getting my laptop taken off of me for about 1-3 months so unless I can go on my sister's computer, I won't be able to update very much :c

Thursday came way too quickly for my liking, I've been nervous all day; Luke said he was going to come over as soon as he drops Darcy off at her mums. So I had a while to shower and stuff, but I still feel like a total wreck.

 

Ashton was talking to Michael about Friday both of them sitting up at the kitchen table, where I was slowly eating a bowl of cereal at four in the afternoon up at the bench.

 

“So, then we came up with the idea of having a movie night and so Cal here doesn't have to be a ‘third wheel’ he’s going to bring… Liam? With him, well Liam will come over here” Ashton smiled at Michael who was about to say something but I quickly butted in. 

 

“It’s Luke and he’s our neighbor who’s coming over in half an hour, so if you two lovely people could leave it would be much appreciated” I take the white bowl to the sink, leaving it in there to wash later I normally hate doing that but I need to shower before it gets to late.

 

“Where are we meant to go?” Ashton protest, getting comfy on Michael’s lap and I roll my eyes at the couple.

 

“I don’t know, there’s the park down the road, or maybe you can just hang out at Mikey’s for a bit – tell him about the thing I told you last night?” Michael looked curiously up at me, then to Ashton who looked nervous. 

 

“Let’s go get some clothes on then!” Ashton quickly piped up dragging Michael with him to the room, I ignored Michael confused stare, practically skipping to my room. 

 

\---- 

 

Once hearing the door slam, I quickly blasted some music that would help me get back into a better mood; as soon as the music started I recognized the song as Black Widow, but it was a cover of course, by Fame on fire and Twiggy. 

 

Chucking some random clothes on my bed I continued to the bathroom, turning the little heater on I began to strip from my pajamas, I’m actually surprised at myself that I had the energy to change into them last night. I usually just sleep in my clothes or nothing, sometimes boxers. 

 

I turned the hot water on all the way, steam quickly filling the little space, turning the cold water tap on half way, letting the water go warm before getting in.  
I thought back to what I told Ashton yesterday, when I was having one of my ‘in the moment’ feelings, more easily explained as, I feel strangely numb and feel like talking for 15 hours straight. 

 

I told him about Michael moving in with us, he said that it was a bad idea, until I actually explained it fully to him; Michael can look after Ashton all he wants. I can stop getting blamed for shit I don’t do, our bills will be split into three’s and him and Michael can share a room together… he was sold by the end. 

 

\---- 

 

“We’re leaving, have fun on your little date thingy!” Ashton calls out his voice followed by a door slamming shut and I felt my stomach do a little flip. 

 

Stupid nerves, stupid anxiety, stupid Luke for being so damn pretty, stupid Ashton for leaving me with Luke, stupid Michael. 

 

What if he doesn't like me? It’ll just be an awkward mess and I’ll have to deal with telling Ashton that we can’t have a mini movie marathon like we wanted. 

 

After checking my hair one last time the broken mirror in my room, I wipe my clammy hands on my jeans and grab my phone, making my way to the lounge room. 

 

Five minutes of scrolling through many social media’s and the doorbell goes off, I get up for my comfy spot I somehow got into on the couch. Trying to calm my heart beat from going so fast, you’re just nervous, I keep thinking, you’re going to be fine, Luke’s going to love you and all your baggage.

 

Pfft, yeah, keep telling yourself that mate. 

 

I wipe the palm of my hands on my jeans nervously, opening the door to an exhausted looking Luke, who gives me a grin, “Hey.” 

 

“Hi, uh, come in, I guess,” I mumble very awkwardly, so very awkward Calum, you’re so very awkward. 

 

It didn't take long for us to start talking about pretty much anything; the conversation went from anything to how long I've known Ashton for, to why Luke had Darcy all the time. Apparently her mum is a recovering alcoholic, who only has Darcy every second weekend, and some day’s during the week. Depending on Luke’s schedule, I asked how he knew her mother, and he said that she his brother’s ex’s girlfriend, they used to go to school together and they met through him. Until she finally stopped being friends with him due to the two braking up and him being in the middle of it all, I probably would of felt bad for him if he didn't tell me the last part of the little story. 

 

“And then I got her help, since she was only coming to me whenever it got really bad, she forced herself to give up once figuring out she was pregnant with my brother’s baby. My brother wanted nothing to do with her or the baby, so she once again came to me for help; she had child-protection called on her. And I got involved, long story short I know take care of her about %70 percent of the time, I did have her full time at first, but they slowly let her see her on weekends, then on special occasions and know she’s a little older – she’s 6 now and she can see her through the week,” Luke seemed both upset yet extremely happy while talking, one second close to tears, the next a wide smile on his face. 

 

I knew I wanted to keep that smile there, so I didn't ask much more about the subject, just continuing our conversation about our similar music taste. 

I didn't feel bad for Luke, or for Darcy’s mother even, it was all towards the little bundle of joy that six year old girl is. She probably doesn't realize that she has what people would call a ‘broken home’ she would see her mum 2 days a week, 3-5 on a good week according to him anyways. 

I mean, I always’ thought I was a ‘happy child’ but really, I was just there suffering through some of the worst years of my life, not being fully aware of all the things that happened around me. 

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Predictions!? 
> 
> Please tell me about any mistakes I may have missed! :) 
> 
> Bye all you beautiful people x


	5. are you saying we fight like an old married couple?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's being snappy, Ashton is being a lying little bitch, and Calum is in the middle.

“Calum, I’m hoooome, Michael’s here with me, with bring grate news!” I heard Ashton call from the hallway, Luke left a couple hours ago, and he said he was looking forward to yesterday. And honestly all I was feeling was butterflies, because fuck that boy is so perfect, I mean, he’s perfect to me anyways. 

“What news?” I quietly ask, moving around the lounge to tidy it, Ashton would chop my head off if I left if a mess, he has a habit himself to be messy. Yet he gets upset when I leave mess around, I guess I do that same thing though, so I can’t blame him. 

“I’m moving in here with you guys,” Michael mumbled not sounding too happy about it, not that it surprises me, I mean who would want to live with someone you hate? No one. 

“Hey, sound happy would you! Something good is finally happening and you’re sounding like you found out Mr. Bubble’s just died or something. Brighten the fuck up,” Ashton basically demanded Michael, sitting on his lap and poking his cheek repeatedly, I’m going to have to get used to this all the time aren't I. 

Couples, ugh.

“That’s grate, I’m glad you actually listen to my advice for once,” I mumble mostly to myself, looking to Ashton and giving him a small smile. I actually am really happy for him; he has someone, someone to keep him on this earth, someone to stay sane for, and someone to look after. Someone to love, where’s as I have no one I prefer it that way though, there’s no one I like, or am in love with so I’m perfectly fine with being completely… Alone. 

“Oh yeah! I almost forgot, how’d things go with Luke? Did he flirt with you? Did he get in your pants? Do you guys hate each other? Is he actually really annoying and disgusting despite how attractive he is? Cause that’d be sad,” Ashton shut up once seeing Michael’s annoyed face, giving him an innocent smile Ashton continued. 

“Uhh, yeah, so did you guys get along?” 

I simply shrugged, sitting down opposite of them. 

“Just a shrug really?” He raised a questioning eyebrow at me and I took a side glance at Michael, who of course noticed it. 

“Will talk later then.” 

“Maybe.”   
\---- 

The backyard is my ‘quiet place’ my ‘chill zone’ my ‘man cave’ whatever you want to call it, and I knew now that Michael would be living with us I would be spending a lot more time out there. 

I grab the joint from my little packet of them that I hide in my bedside table, putting it between my lips I go to the kitchen and go for a search for Ashton and I’s white lighter we've had for a while now. 

Getting a little frustrated that I couldn't fine it, I go to the lounge room putting the roll up in my jacket pocket. 

“Ash, have you seen the lighter? I can’t find it,” Ashton physically freezes at my words and Michael’s head snapped up at my words. 

“Why do you guys have a lighter? Why do you even need one?” Michael quickly butted in, giving me a suspicious look. 

I sighed walking towards them and patted Michael’s head lightly, “Because young one, in case you forgot I have weed that’s been given to me to help my little problem, now where the lighter Ash?” Ashton pulls it out from his back pocket chucking it to me and I can tell by Michael’s intense stare at the little object, there about to argue. Or ‘fight’ throw mean words at each other, someone ending up in tears, someone ending up slamming a door, it always happens and now I’m going to see it all the time. I already experience it more than I like. 

Walking back to the kitchen, I take my time slowly going to the back yard, knowing Michael was waiting to hear the back door open then close before unravelling onto Ashton. So I do what any curious person dose, open the back door walking in place for a second and then close it again. Don’t judge me we’ve all done it before. 

“I thought you gave up!” 

“I did.” 

“Then why did you have that stupid lighter on you, if your smoking again, I don’t care, just be honest with me Ashton don’t fucking lie and just tell me.” 

“I… I just.” 

“What, are you doing more than just normal cigarettes?” 

“No! no, that’s not it I just uhm, yes, I am, I started smoking up again.”

“Why didn't you just tell me Ash, I wouldn't have been angry, as long as you promise me that’s all you’re doing.” 

“That’s all I’m doing, I promise, okay, just trust me.” 

“That seems to be getting harder and hared to do these days.” 

I didn't hear Ashton reply, instead he stormed into the kitchen and I froze for a second before opening the back door and pretending I was walking in side. 

He froze in spot looking at me with wide eyes, “You didn't hear that did you?” he sniffled, I didn't notice just looked down at his hand that was starching at his skin on his arm. 

“No, not really, I’m guessing you guys thought again since you’re coming in here with a vibe that says ‘I want to be alone, but really I don’t’.” He wiped his eyes, walking over to me and clinging onto me tightly. 

“You know, people say you fight with the people your closest to.”   
“We never fight, and I think we’re pretty damn close” 

“We bicker though, over simple little things like – what to make for tea when we want to cook stuff together, or what outside furniture we were going to get.” 

“Are you saying we fight like an old married couple?” He moved from me, giving me the best smile he could and I was glad to see his mood change quickly. 

“Yes, Ash, I’m saying we’re an old married couple,” I ruffled his hair much to his annoyance and opened the back door, “Now if you would excuse me honey, I need to go do something’s that may or may not be illegal” 

“Have fun you idiot” He called back, shuffling out of the room, probably to go ‘apologise’ to Michael. As in there going to have make up sex. 

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Predictions? 
> 
> Love to know you're opinion. 
> 
> If your reading this, I love you! :3 
> 
> Bye guys.


	6. Nervous wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum's nervous af

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a filler chapter sorry!

Calum was a little jealous of Ashton and Michael right now, why? Well because today is just going to be another day to them, simply watching movies with people why they caudle on a couch. While Calum is a nervous wreck, on the very on a flipping panic attack, that may be a little be dramatic to say. But Calum felt like he was going to pass out at any second as he was fidgeting with his sweater sleeve, trying to get his hair to stay in place for five god damn seconds. 

He slowly walked out of his bedroom trudging towards the kitchen where he was met with a couple glaring at each other from the opposite side of the room. 

He looked to Ashton, then to Michael, and then back to Ashton, it’s too early for their bullshit, Calum thought to himself moving over to the fridge to grab a drink. Since he feels like if he was to put anything else in his stomach he would throw it up. 

Opening a rock star energy drink he leaned against the kitchen counter, taking a long sip before clearing his throat to gain there attention. 

“What’s going on,” He spoke slowly looking between the couple.   
“Someone hid my packet of cigarettes form me! And now I feel all fucking pissed off and shit and – for fuck sake Mikey, give me them back of I swear I’m going to cut your balls off in your sleep.” Ashton uttered, moving over to the table where Michael was sitting eating his eggs with an innocent get annoyed looking face. 

“I didn't hide them from you, I already told you this! You must have misplaced them or something I wouldn't want to touch the disgusting things.” His noes scrunched up thinking about them, geez they aren't that bad Calum thought to himself thinking about how Ashton misplaces stuff ALL the time. And has probably left them around the house somewhere. 

“I've searched the whole house and I can’t find them, explain that you little bitch!” Ashton snapped, poking Michael’s cheats harshly. 

Michael rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, shaking his head he stood up abruptly and put his plate in the sink. 

“I’m moving back out, screw you all!” Michael calls out as he left the room slamming his bedroom door behind him. 

Calum propped himself onto the counter top, sipping his drink as he watched his friend have a little mental break down. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck.” Ashton kicked the chair Michael was sitting on; sitting down on the chair beside it he slammed his fist into the table top. 

“I think I saw them sitting on the little table that’s next to the back door.” Calum innocently said, pretending he didn't know where they were this whole time. 

A frustrated sigh left Ashton mouth as he looked up at his best friend, “Are you saying you knew where they were this whole time?” Calum just shook his head. 

“I said, ‘I think’ that’s why I didn't say anything before, now you check and if they are there go get your cute butt in there and apologise.” Calum pulled Ashton up from his seat and pushed him to the back door, and Ashton sighed in relief when seeing what he’s been looking for on the little brown table. 

“I’m going to have to go make up with him again aren't I” Calum nodded his head at his curly haired friend, giving with sad eyes knowing he’s been bickering and fighting none stop since Michael ‘moved in’. Really he’s just slept here almost every single night; he hasn't actually moved his stuff in yet. 

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! 
> 
> Even if this was a filler chapter :P 
> 
> Predictions? 
> 
> Love to know what you think of this, if you could leave kudos or comment :3 
> 
> Bye guys.


	7. Such a light weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mashton have a quick make-out session in the kitchen, while Luke is teasing Calum all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for not updating! D: it's been like 5+ days I think and just gawd sorry, I hate it when I don't update every two days. :C 
> 
> I don't like being that person that has excuses all the time, but~ My mother's in the hospital, along with two of my younger sister's Christmas is here soon so I've been busy with that shit, and yeah life's just been dandy. Enjoy the chapter!

“Box me, box me, box me, shit!” Michael threw his control onto the floor in front of him turning around to glare at me. 

“If I say box me, I fucking mean, BOX ME!” 

“It’s not my fault your didn't jump in time so we died, this is meant to be a team game – lets swap controllers, you can see how hard it is.” He agreed and we swap places and our controllers. I could see Ashton shaking his head fondly at the both at us, muttering something about how Luke would be here any minute and how we’re idiots and better not make a fool out of ourselves. 

Michael decided on playing Mario on the Wii-u to help him, ‘calm the fuck down’ but really all it has done so far is made him rage quit and lose his marbles. It helped when I asked to join though, since the game’s better with 2+ people playing it, and I was surprised when he actually smiled at me and was well happy? That I wanted to join him.

Ashton just sat on the couch behind us, on his phone, probably reading some wired shit on Tumblr or something, he does that a lot. 

\----   
I was so distracted by the game that I didn't notice that Luke was even here, until I heard Ashton ‘talking to himself’ and paused the game to see what was going on. Being met with Luke sitting on the couch, legs crossed and laughing with Ashton. 

“Is that him?” Michael whispered in my ear and I jumped in surprised not really noticing he was that close to me, resulting in my head bagging on the coffee table. 

“Shit, are you okay Cal?” Ashton quickly asked, and I noticed everyone’s eyes were on me and I suddenly felt really, really self-conscious. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m good; I’m just going to go get something to drink,” I stood up giving Ashton a reassuring smile before turning to Michael, “And you, were going to try this again tomorrow, I’m not giving up on this stupid game” Michael just stuck his tongue out at me and Luke stood up to follow me, he told me he had a habit of following people around that he’s most comfortable with. Not wanting to get in an awkward situation. 

I smiled to myself when realizing he must be comfortable with me; I mean he hasn't really seen the other two much, so it makes sense, but still. I couldn't help the bubbly feeling in my stomach. 

\---- 

“So you've just been looking after her this whole time?” Ashton asked Luke, he’s got a stunned look on his face, but I’m not surprised, Ashton hate’s having responsibilities. Whether it’s something like going out and buying groceries or having to look after another human bean. 

Luke nodded his head, getting a bit fidgety under the two boy’s intense stare at him; he looked at me trying to ask me to help by just a look. Wow. He looks so desperate, I actually kind of like seeing him look like this. (A/n: Calum’s power hungry af my gosh) 

“Are we actually going to watch movies? Or just sit here and drink, because I’m up for that,” I spoke up trying to change the subject, I’m not going to let him look at me hopelessly all day, I’m not that mean. 

“I've got some beer in the fridge,” Michael say’s pulling himself off the ground, “Anyone wants one?” We all nod our head and Ashton goes off with Michael, grate, there probably going to have a mini make-out session in there. 

“They both seem nice,” Luke comments breaking the silence, “You’re lucky to have good friends like them” 

“Yeah, well it’s not really fun being the third wheel in our ‘friendship’ I’m just that one friend on the side of two people who are hopelessly in love. I mean, if I wasn't here they’d be able to be together in their own big house, get married, adopt a baby-“ 

“You've got to stop thinking like that,” He interrupted with a little laugh, tough it didn't meet up to his eyes, “I can tell they love being around you, and I quite frankly also love being around you, you’re a cool guy to be around” 

I love being around you, is all that was in my head at that moment, he love’s being around me? 

“T-thanks’ you seem like a pretty cool guy too,” I mumble cursing mentally for stuttering. 

He smiled brightly at me and this time it looked genuine.

\---- 

“So Lukey, Calum here was quiet nervous yesterday before you came over, he even kicked me out of my own house, just so you two could be alone.” Ashton says – more like slurs, geez he’s such a light weight. 

“You guys were already leaving and I always get nervous before someone comes over, stop being an idiot Ash,” I glared at him and he just giggles sitting in Michael’s lap, who rolled his eyes at he’s adorkable boyfriend. 

“You were nervous hu?” Lukey lowly says in my ear, all I could response with is a weird squeaky sound. 

“Your pretty cute when your nervous Cal,” He mumbles biting at my ear lobe, did he just call me Cal? Did he just call me CUTE? Holy fuck. 

“Um, I need another beer,” I quickly say, ignoring Luke’s pout and Michael intense stare as I slowly went to the kitchen grabbing another beer and staying in there. 

Just calm yourself, he’s probably just teasing you, you know not to get your hopes up, well either way I would get my hopes crushed, I’m that one idiot. Who doesn't get there hopes up, but there still miserably disappointed. 

I took a deep breathe, chugging down half of what was my sixth beer, I think, I actually have no clue, it’s probably around six anyways. 

I closed my eyes I thought I was dreaming when I felt arms wrap around my waist. 

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Predictions? 
> 
> Please let me know that your enjoying this by leaving kudos and commenting, it helps me update faster as well! :3 
> 
> I'm not happy with this but meh, I hate basically everything I write.


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